Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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