k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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