weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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