This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
This gyro tastes like lonliness
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
