I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
