Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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