I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
