Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i've created a new STD.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
