I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
