Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Four minutes until I can fart!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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