Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
