You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
