My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
and she was petting her beer can
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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