I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
