apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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