I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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