Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
