Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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