You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
