well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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