it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
