You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
