He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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