Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
