this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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