and you said cock pushups were impossible
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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