ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
