chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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