I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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