You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
