pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
