Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Buhtt sex?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
