Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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