You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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