At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
