I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
