Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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