i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
