the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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