True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
