She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
