Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
