I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
