k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
