Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
