good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
