id be glad to
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
third nipple confirmed
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
