the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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