Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
