I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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